A New Beginning

2009 has been one of the hardest years of my life. We have struggled with deep depression, job loss, a massive reduction in our income, and now we are loosing our house. It has been painful. I have cried many tears over the past year as I have struggled to understand why all of this would happen to us. I have come to the conclusion that there is not a reason right now. Sometime in the future I will understand why we were drug through the mud, but as for now I have to try to not think of the "why's", but rather the "what now's".

Thus I am going to challenge myself to create a better and more hopeful life for me and my family in 2010. This is my blog about this adventure. My goal is to find some hope in my life everyday. In doing so I hope to change my outlook on my life and my circumstances by the end of 2010. I believe that I can do this.

I spoke with my husband about this blog yesterday while we were driving home from a brief Christmas vacation. Today I woke up to a crazy, messy house and I was determined to get lots done. I did not complete my list of tasks for the day but I did do this:

1. I began potty training my 2 year old. We had about 12 successes and only 3 accidents. It was a great start to an end of a diaper era. (I have been changing diapers for 7 years straight. I hate it! There is something rather awful about cleaning up someone elses feces everyday for 7 years.) I can only look forward to what this is going to do for my monthly budget.
2. I straightened up the down stairs. It is not a large feat, but it was a great thing to work on. I just need to get Christmas put away and then things will look a whole lot better.
3. I set up to have dinner with an old friend. This sounds odd and it is. I recieved a very random phone call from a lady I met in a waiting room about 3 years ago. We met as a result of both having children with a developmental delay. Her son graduated from therapy at the same time that we were moving and going to start services in our new area. She called me today, after not speaking for 2 years, to ask me for some help. I was amazed that someone would think to call me of all people. She wanted to talked to me about putting her son on medication and how I felt about medication. One thing led to the next and I realized that she also wanted to learn more about my church. I was truely in awe. I have never had anyone ask me for more information about my church. I didn't think I could ever share that with anyone. But her she is and she came to me looking for more informaion. and so we are going to have dinner and I dicussion next week. I am very excited and nervouse at the same time. I am greatful that she called. I feel like she has given me purpose and dive, both of which are greatly needed in my life right now. I hope it goes well.
4. Ryan applied for 2 jobs!! Yeah!! We need a new job very badly. Our current employment situation is not a good one. I am proud that he took the initaitive to apply for some jobs. Both of the jobs would take us away from our current home, but we have to be willing to go anywhere if things are ever going to get better.

And that is my day in a nut shell. My hope for today lies in the belief that I am needed, and that I can make things change. You never know when some old friend will call asking questions or when the new job will come through. Nonetheless, they do happen, just as my life will get better. We will have to see what tomorrow brings.